ode to Laclede and the hog handler
My older brother, Rambler, and I have a pact:
We are, at all costs, both to avoid being forcefully relocated to any correctional facility, holding tank, holding pen, paddy wagon, or back seat of the vehicle of any official government agent.
Even ten minutes in one of those tourist pens during the annual New Years celebration at time square, I think, would shatter the pack. I feel the anti-official detention pact quite strongly, and I suspect that he does as well. This pact is greater than a little extra reason to avoid such situation in a selfish manner. Neigh, it is the opposite. We do it to help each other.
You see, we are the only members of the family to not have spent some period of time in an officially sanctioned time out (save for my mother, who is above reproach, though I admit to being ignorant of his own mother’s history of incarceration). If one of us were to fall, then the other would be as the last leaf on a dying tree, braving the wind and rain and snow with no others to help hold back the forces of nature, which are ever pitted against it and it’s kin.
It is selfish in a sense. It is selfish, because I do not want to be that last one. If I were, might I do something, asinine, so I may too taste the families forbidden fruit? I would like to think not, but I prefer not to find out.
p.s., by the way, K, was Ralph Nader worth it?
February 28th, 2008 at 9:27 am
FIRSTLY, dang, bro. Why you gotta out me like this?
Secondly, I take issue with your suggestion that time spent in the back of a mobile incarceration unit means my leaf has fallen from the branch. You forget, our tree is pretty fubar. It takes more than a couple arrests. Like being guilty. Wait … no. Like being convicted. Wait … no. Like being remorseless. Wait … NO. Like being made someone’s bitch in prison. Yes! That’s what it takes for the leaf to have fallen from the tree in our family. Clearly, my leaf is still solidly attached.
Lastly, if only the Nader incident was my lone indiscretion. What can I say? I’m buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-BAD. Yes, to the bone.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:55 am
[…] Seems he got tired of waiting and decided to take extreme measures to prod me into action—in his latest post, he exposes my criminal record! Yup, folks. This is what I get for letting him do my share of the chores and using him to practice make-up application techniques. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. […]